


On Wings of Freedom

by SilverFlameAlchemist



Series: Jukebox Drabbles [18]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Broken Bones, Broken Promises, Character Death In Dream, Emotional Baggage, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hiding, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Multi, Other, POV Second Person, Physical Disability, Protectiveness, Reader-Insert, Romance, Song-inspired, Songfic, Surprise! You're In Love!, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, mostly spoiler free, reader/various - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-08 12:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10386822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFlameAlchemist/pseuds/SilverFlameAlchemist
Summary: What should have been a simple assignment was always complicated because of him.Reader/Various - Separate Summaries Inside





	1. Lullaby For A Stormy Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a lump in the bed, blond hair splayed across the pillow, and you hesitated only a moment before another flash of lightning drove you to action, slamming the door and bolting for the bed, leaping onto it and the boy that was asleep under the covers. He was the only one who could make you forget about the storm outside.
> 
> Commander Erwin Smith/Reader

_Little child, be not afraid_  
_The rain pounds harsh against the glass_  
_Like an unwanted stranger_  
_There is no danger_  
_I am here tonight_  
_Little child_  
_Be not afraid_  
_Though thunder explodes_  
_And lightning flash_  
_Illuminates your tearstained face_  
_I am here tonight..._

You hid under the covers of your bed, shivering every time you heard the thunder rumble, and tried to pretend the storm outside didn't exist. You hated storms; they reminded you of when your father had gone missing, when your mother had taken off after the expedition outside the walls without stopping to think first.

Now, the rain was just a bad reminder of what you had lost, and how scared you still were about losing other people in your life too…

You bolted out from under the covers with the next roll of thunder, wrenching the door open and padding hurriedly down the hall to the last door on the left. You grabbed the handle, not even stopping to consider how he might react before you rushed inside.

There was a lump in the bed, blond hair splayed across the pillow, and you hesitated only a moment before another flash of lightning drove you to action, slamming the door and bolting for the bed, leaping onto it and the boy that was asleep under the covers.

" _Oof!_ " The boy let out a grunt as you landed on him, rubbing at his eyes as he struggled out from under the covers and looked at you. "Huh? What're…?"

You burrowed under the covers before he could get out the rest of his question, hiding your face in a pillow and pointing at the window as way of answer.

"The storm…? Is that what all the fuss is about?" He let out a soft chuckle, sliding back under the covers and pulling you to him, rolling his eyes. "You're such a little child…"

"Sh-shut up, Erwin!" You grumbled, pretending you didn't enjoy his teasing. "You're only a year older, you know…"

"Yeah, but I'm not scared of storms." He pointed out, tucking himself back under the covers, peering at you in the gloom of his room. He reached out and gently wiped at the tears that you hadn't been able to keep back, his thumb stroking over your cheeks. "Jeez, you're just lucky I don't mind you coming in here in the middle of the night…"

You shuddered with another rattling of the window, putting all your attention on his bright eyes. "You like the company, don't lie."

He chuckled, ruffling your hair before he rolled over onto his back, closing his eyes once more. "Just get some sleep, okay?"

You shifted closer, close enough to feel his warmth, and shut your eyes, listening to his breathing and struggling to ignore the storm outside. Erwin was there, right there, right where he'd be all night.

 _Little child_  
_Be not afraid_  
_The storm clouds mask your beloved moon_  
_And its candlelight beams_  
_Still keep pleasant dreams_  
_I am here tonight_  
_Little child_  
_Be not afraid_  
_The wind makes creatures of our trees_  
_And the branches to hands_  
_They're not real, understand_  
_And I am here tonight..._

You hadn't even made it to bed before you started to cry again, four years older and still scared of the storms, you ran straight to the one boy who could make it all okay, clinging to him when he turned around at your call, hiding your face in his shirt.

"Again?" His voice was gentle, the tone accepting as he stroked your hair and held you close. "Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?"

You nodded, holding onto him more tightly as a tree branch scrabbled against the window like desperate fingers of a hungry beast.

"The trees can't hurt you, you know." He continued, noticing your reaction. "They're just trying to come inside to say hello. That's all." You chuckled, letting him pull you away far enough to take your hand and lead you down the hall to his bedroom. "They probably hate the storm as much as you do."

You followed him into the room, crawling up into the bed and pulling the covers up over your head. He chuckled, getting changed for bed, and then crawled in beside you. "We have to do something about this… You're getting too old to sleep in here."

"Am not!" You argued, poking your head up out of the covers high enough to glare at him. "I'll never be too old for that!"

He looked genuinely embarrassed for a moment before he rolled his eyes and ruffled your hair, quickly covering his unease. "Whatever you say, kid."

You grumbled quietly before the thunder growled outside again, shaking the house. You shot across the bed to cling to his arm, hiding your face against his shoulder. "Please say I'll never be too old for this. I don't want to sleep on my own in a storm. It'll be scary."

There was a smile in his words when he next spoke, his tone gentle. "Of course you won't ever be too old. Now come on, get some sleep… Pleasant dreams."

You smiled, forgetting the storm for a moment. "Pleasant dreams, Erwin."

 _For you know, once even I_  
_Was a little child_  
_And I was afraid_  
_But a gentle someone always came_  
_To dry all my tears_  
_Trade sweet sleep for fears_  
_And to give a kiss goodnight_  
_Well, now I am grown_  
_And these years have shown_  
_Rain's a part of how life goes_  
_But it's dark and it's late_  
_So I'll hold you and wait_  
_'til your frightened eyes do close..._

You shot up straight in bed, the thunder shaking the entire barracks as it rumbled in the night, the rain beginning to tap against the roof before it grew into an utter downpour. You tried to block it out, to pretend it was nothing, but you couldn't. Even after all these years, after all the training to become part of the military, storms still reminded you of everything you had lost… Of everything you _could_ lose.

You were up out of your bunk with the next roll of thunder, desperation making you move without thinking, hurrying out of the barracks, into the storm, and straight to where you knew a gentle someone was sleeping.

Commander in the Survey Corps or not, Erwin was still the only one who had made the storms bearable for you over the years, even after you had moved out of his family's home and gotten a place of your own.

You were soaking wet by the time you got to the building you knew he was in, taking the hallways at a breakneck speed, the lightning like a whip crack in the night, urging you to move faster, faster, _faster_.

You rounded another corner, and pushed the door open without stopping to think about it first, closing it behind you with a snap, glancing about the room before you caught sight of a familiar mop of golden hair splayed across the pillow of his bed.

Another shudder ran through the building as the thunder roared outside, and you shot to the bed, clambering under the covers, dripping clothes and all.

Erwin yelped from the sudden cold, shooting up in bed as he whipped his head around to stare at you. "What're…?" He stopped as another flash of lightning outside showed your expression, eyes wide and frightened. "Still afraid?" He asked; voice suddenly softer, soothing to your frantic heart and mind.

You nodded, covering your ears as the thunder continued. You closed your eyes, jumping when a warm hand landed on your shoulder. You looked up at him again, catching sight of the soft smile and kind eyes as the lightning illuminated them for a split second. "Am I too old for this?" You asked without meaning to, the question one you had always feared the answer to.

He blinked, surprised, and then laughed, pulling you to him, bundling you up in his arms. "I thought I told you, you'll never be too old for this." Erwin pulled back, still smiling. "I'll always hold you through the night, if that's what you need." He offered you a shy grin, suddenly abashed. "Of course, there doesn't have to be a storm outside, for that offer to remain…"

You felt your face flush, opening your mouth to respond when another crack of thunder made you jump and hide your face in his shoulder, eliciting a laugh from the Commander. "I wouldn't mind that…" You whispered into his ears, tightening your hold on him.

He hummed, kissing your shoulder. "Neither would I… Now then, let's get you out of those wet clothes… Can't have you catching cold, now can we?" He teased, a grin tugging at his lips.

You felt your face flush even brighter, the storm outside suddenly vanishing, to be replaced by a clear sky of blue, the same color of his eyes.

 _And I hope that you'll know_  
_That nature is so_  
_This same rain that draws you near me_  
_Falls on rivers and land_  
_And forests and sand_  
_Makes the beautiful world that you see_  
_In the morning_  
_Everything's fine in the morning_  
_The rain will be gone in the morning_  
_But I'll still be here in the morning..._

_"Lullaby for a Stormy Night" by Vienna Teng_


	2. Lullaby For a Soldier (Arms of the Angels)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't just expect other people to look out for me, look out for the people I care about. I need to be able to protect them, protect…" He trailed off, and you propped yourself up on one elbow to look at him.  
> "Protect what?" You asked.  
> "Protect you." He finished, cheeks dusted pink and eyes looking anywhere but into yours. "I want to protect you. I want to know that you'll be safe."
> 
> Armin Arlert/Reader

_May your dreams bring you peace in the darkness_  
_May you always rise over the rain_  
 _May the light from above, always lead you to love_  
 _May you stay in the arms of the angels..._

You followed the blond down another side street, laughing as you were both pelted by the rain. You had been trying to outrun the storm, and had only been partly successful. Armin had taken off running, laughing the whole way, and you had had no choice but to follow him.

He suddenly caught your arm, dragging you under an awning, and you both leaned against the rough wood of the shop's wall, panting to catch your breath.

"You lied!" You accused the boy beside you, laughter in your eyes. "You said it would be sunny all day."

"I thought it would be!" He protested, sputtering. "If I had known it would rain, I would have asked you to stay at my house and play."

You shook your arms, freeing raindrops from the tips of your fingers, and giggled. "Well now we have to go back to your house. I can go home soaked to the skin! Mom will kill me."

He laughed, peeking out from under the awning up at the sky. "We can try to wait it out for a while, if you don't mind. Maybe it'll clear up."

You sighed deeply, starting to squeeze the excess water out of your hair. "Well I guess waiting couldn't hurt." You mumbled, not looking at him. "But if I get sick, you better nurse me back to health." You threatened.

He laughed, holding out his pinky to you, teeth chattering slightly as the wind picked up and rushed down the alley where you both hid. "I promise."

You hesitated only a second before you wrapped your pinky around his, nodding. "Good!"

 _May you always be brave in the shadows_  
_'Till the sun shines upon you again_  
 _Hear this prayer in my heart, and we'll ne'er be apart_  
 _May you stay in the arms of the angels..._

"Armin!" You yelled as you chased the blond through the streets, ducking around adults and other kids. "Armin, wait up!"

You saw him duck down a familiar side street, and hurried after him, slowing when you saw him curled up under the same faded awning from years before.

"Hey, I thought I was gonna lose you." You sat beside him, keeping your hands carefully to yourself. You could see the dirt on his clothes from where he'd hit the ground, and there was a tear on his shirt sleeve that had a trickle of blood matted to the fabric. "You okay?"

You already knew the answer, knew the lie he would feed you just so he wouldn't have to tell you the truth, but you wanted to ask anyway. You needed him to know that you cared. That you wanted to help.

"Got picked on again." He mumbled. "Nothing serious."

"It is serious!" You snapped back. "Those bullies deserve to be slapped around some themselves… It's not fair for them to pick on someone half their size."

He curled in on himself tighter, shoulders giving a noncommittal hop. "I know I'm small…"

"No, no, that's not…" You fumbled for words, trying to think of what to say. There was no really good way to put it, so you dropped the subject completely, instead looking at what he was holding against his chest. "Is that a book?"

He nodded shyly. "It's about the world outside the wall… The other kids wanted to take it from me."

"Can I see it?" You asked softly, smiling when he looked up at you. "I'd love to know about the world outside the wall."

He grinned, slowly uncurling, and brushed his fingers lovingly over the cover. "Will you keep it secret, though? I don't want any more trouble."

You grinned, holding out your pinky to him, laughing when he eagerly wrapped his around yours. "I promise."

 _May you hear every song in the forest_  
_And if ever you lose your own way_  
 _Hear my voice like a breeze, whisper soft through the trees_  
 _May you stay in the arms of the angels..._

"You can't really be thinking of joining up." You grumbled, glaring at the canopy of trees above you. "It's so dangerous, Armin, there's no guarantee you'll come back!"

"I know that." He sighed, stretching out next to you. "But it would be a chance to help humanity. I can't depend on my friends to save me forever…"

"Why not?" You shot back. "We've been doing a fine job of it so far."

"But that's not the point." He argued. "I can't just expect other people to look out for me, look out for the people I care about. I need to be able to protect them, protect…" He trailed off, and you propped yourself up on one elbow to look at him.

"Protect what?" You asked.

"Protect _you_." He finished, cheeks dusted pink and eyes looking anywhere but into yours. "I want to protect you. I want to know that you'll be safe."

"Armin…" You began, but he shook his head quickly.

"Don't argue!" He huffed. "I have weird butterflies in my stomach just mentioning it, don't make me try to argue about why you're so important, alright?"

You laughed, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Alright. But there's one thing you have to promise me."

"Anything." He smiled up at you.

"Promise you'll always come back to me." You whispered.

He smiled faltered for a second, before he managed to keep it in place, holding out his pinky to you. "I promise." He said as you wrapped your littlest finger around his

 _May you grow up to stand as a man_  
_with the pride of your family and name_  
 _when you lay down your head, or to rest in your bed_  
 _May you stay in the arms of the angels..._

_"Lullaby for a Soldier (Arms of the Angels)" by Maggie Siff_


	3. Better Dig Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was a blur of white noise; the only thing that registered was the blue and white wings that now rested on his back. The Wings of Freedom… What a terrible lie that was. Those wings held no freedom, only a sentence of death. You knew the statistics, you knew the horror stories, and you knew what they meant for the man who now wore them.  
> "How could you?" You finally managed to coax your vocal chords into working. "You promised."
> 
> Jean Kershtein/Reader

_Put me in the ground_   
_Put me six foot down_   
_And let the stone say,_   
_"Here lies the girl whose only crutch_   
_Was loving one man just a little too much."_   
_If you go before I do_   
_I'm gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two..._

You stared at the insignia emblazoned on his jacket, looking without seeing. His mouth continued to move, giving his apology and explanation, and you heard without listening. He was crying, voice cracking as tears started to slip down his cheeks, you noticed without caring. Everything was a blur of white noise; the only thing that registered was the blue and white wings that now rested on his back.

_The Wings of Freedom…_

What a terrible lie that was. Those wings held no freedom, only a sentence of death. You knew the statistics, you knew the horror stories, and you knew what they meant for the man who now wore them.

"How could you?" You finally managed to coax your vocal chords into working. "You _promised_."

Light brown eyes looked up into yours, still rimmed with tears and redder than they had any right to be. "I know… And I am so sorry."

" _You promised_." You started shaking, fists clenching, tears of you own starting to escape from the corners of your eyes. "You swore you wouldn't join the Survey Corps. You gave me your _word_ , Jean."

His hands lifted, but he stopped them before they could land on your shoulders, halting mid-air as he realized touching you wouldn't be the smartest choice at the moment.

"Can you forgive me?" He asked in a whisper, no longer able to meet your eye.

"Give me one good reason to." You spat back. "Tell me why you joined them instead."

Jean cracked a smile, a shy, fleeting thing. "Because some idiot boy talked me into it." He replied after a moment.

You looked again at the wings he now carried, _willing_ them to become a unicorn. You clenched your fists tighter when nothing changed, desperate to wake up from this nightmare.

"I promise I'll come back." Jean whispered, throwing caution to the wind and pulling you into a tight hug. "I won't leave you."

You reluctantly returned the hug, feeling his heart hammer against his chest in a frantic dance. Behind him on the table you saw your own uniform, the shining white and green insignia of the Military Police now seemingly dimmer than before.

"You better not." You whispered back. "Or they'll need two gravestones."

_Well,_   
_It won't be whiskey, it won't be meth_   
_It'll be your name on my last breath_   
_If divorce or death ever do us part_   
_The coroner will call it a broken heart..._

"Idiot." You growled, practically throwing the roll of bandages at Jean.

"I know, I know." He caught the bandages and dipped his head, looking at the blood soaked bandages around his thigh. "I'm sorry."

You clicked your tongue, striding over to him and snatching up the bandages. You knelt in front of him, laying a hand lightly beside his wound. The crimson blossom was a bright contrast to the crisp white of the bandages, making your stomach turn.

"How bad is it?" You asked, the anger leaving your voice.

"Not as bad as it looks." He replied, starting to remove the bandages. "I have some leave, though, to make sure it heals properly." He gave you a crooked grin, one eyebrow rising. "I'm sure you'll help with that, won't you?"

You punched his other leg, earning yourself a loud wince. "Don't push your luck." You grumbled, starting to apply the new bandages. You sat in silence for a while, you paying close attention to your work, and him watching you continue to patch him up.

"I'd rather push you." He spoke at last, snatching up your wrists once you had finished, pulling you up to your knees and close enough to allow him access to your ear. "Preferably into bed." He teased in a whisper.

You felt your cheeks flush, working your jaw for a moment before you managed to speak. "What, ah, what about your leg?"

His hands slid down your arms slowly, the tip of his nose running along your pulse as he inhaled deeply. "I told you, it's not as bad as it looks."

You were finding it hard to form sentences, but thankfully he silenced your lips with a kiss and you didn't have to worry about it anymore. Your hands found their way onto his shoulders, and then slowly worked up his neck to his hair. Jean pulled you closer, arms wrapped tight around you.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you." You managed faintly, as you broke apart for air, face flushed and eyes locked onto his.

He grinned. "Oh, I know." He winked. "But you will."

_If the ties that bind ever do come loose_   
_If "forever" ever ends for you_   
_If that ring gets a little too tight_   
_You might as well read me my last rites..._

"What did you break this time?" You asked, not even looking over at the man who had shuffled into your house. You had given up keeping track of how often he came back with broken bones or bleeding wounds. You focused on the fact that he _did_ come back, and left it at that.

"Nothing broken." He replied softly, slipping his arms around your waist, pulling you back against his chest as he kissed the top of your head. "Just torn… A muscle in my leg."

"How bad is it?" You asked automatically, already relaxing from the rhythm of his breathing and heartbeat.

"About two weeks' worth." He chuckled. "Will I be bothering you?"

"Only a little." You managed a faint frown, not actually upset. You loved when he came back to you, loved seeing him lounging about the place, sans gear.

"I'll make it up to you." He whispered in your ear, hands ghosting over your hips. "I promise."

You went a rather luminous shade of red, grabbing his hands and stopping them before they could travel elsewhere. "I-I'm sure you will."

He chuckled, kissing your shoulder. "Oh, I brought something back for you."

You laughed, releasing his hands as he pulled away. "What, a Titan hand?" You asked, continuing to wash the dishes in your sink.

"Nothing quite so morbid." He teased, standing behind you once more. A little black box appeared in your field of vision, one of his arms securing itself around your waist so you couldn't escape. "But I think you'll like it."

You dried your hands on a towel and took the box from him, opening it with a giggle.

"I'd kneel, but, well, with the leg and all…" He shrugged, and you could hear his heartbeat pick up, matching your own.

The ring was simple, but it suited you. Your mouth fell open in a little 'o' of surprise, eyes widening.

"Will you marry me?" He whispered softly, holding you more tightly.

You gulped, taking the ring gingerly from its box and turning to look at him. "Do I have to put it on myself?"

He licked his lips nervously, shaking his head and taking it from you, slipping it onto your finger carefully. "Is that a yes, then?"

You grinned. "Like I could ever get rid of you if I said no."

_There'll be a stone right next to mine,_   
_We'll be together 'til the end of time_   
_Don't you go before I do,_   
_I'm gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two..._

_"Better Dig Two" by The Band Perry_

* * *


	4. Even Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stay with me." It was a command, nothing else, and steel eyes stared into yours as blood-stained hand felt for a pulse. You could feel something slide from the corner of your mouth, and belatedly you realized it must be blood. Your heart was fluttering, weakly, like a butterfly that had been smacked to the ground; struggling to flap its wings again. "No." Levi hissed, and you felt him gather you up into his arms. "Not like this."
> 
> Levi/Reader

_I want to cry but the tears won't come_   
_There's blood on the ground_   
_I think I know where it's from_   
_But my hands are tied as I watch you die._   
_Step away son, the worst is past, he said_   
_But I can't see her breath, she's moving on fast_   
_As the shadowy reaper glides through the trees_   
_He's coming, he's coming, he's come to steal her away from me..._

Trees whipped past you as you fell into a rhythm with your 3-D gear, following along behind your squad members. Erin was talking to you, over the buzz and hiss of the gear and the rush of wind. You were trying to pay attention, really, but the rush of flying, of being out here with the Survey Corps, was making you a little light-headed.

"Stop distracting her, Jaeger!" Levi barked from ahead of you, glaring over his shoulder at the other brunette. "We have to keep our wits about us out here, and your babbling might attract unwanted attention."

Erin huffed, rolling his eyes. "Sure thing, Captain Tight-Pants…" He grumbled.

You stifled a giggle, pulling up to a tree limb as Levi slowed ahead of you. You were part of his "guard detail"; not that he needed guarding. You had watched him in battle enough times to know if anyone would be doing the guarding here, it would be him.

"Hold this position." Levi instructed the pair of you, keen eyes sweeping through the trees. "I'll scout ahead and then come back for you. If a Titan appears, you know what to do."

As soon as he was out of earshot, you started panting, doubling over as you tried to catch your breath.

"I wondered how long you could hide it…" Erin watched you, eyes narrowed. "How did you make it this long without showing any signs?"

"Don't… Don't really know…" You leant against the tree, sliding down into a sitting position, blades held carefully across your lap. "Surprised I managed to hide it, this whole time…"

Erin sighed, looking back out over the forest, lowering his voice. "This is really no place for you. You should have gone with the Military Police- you would have been safe there."

"I barely qualified." You pointed out, still panting slightly. "Besides, that's no fun. This way, I get to go out with a bang; not a whimper."

He glared at you, but there was no real heat in his gaze. He looked sorry, if anything, and you grinned up at him.

"I'll be fine, Erin. I feel better again already."

"It's your heart, right?" He asked softly, again looking out into the trees, like he was trying to distract himself. "How did you get through basic training?"

"Toughed it out." You replied, pushing yourself back up to your feet. "I was determined not to give up without a fight. It'll take a Titan to keep me down."

He chuckled, casting you a look. "I like that attitude of yours… But I don't know if it'll keep you safe."

You opened your mouth to reply, but you saw something looming out of the trees behind him, and the color left your face. A pair of gargantuan eyes were staring at you both, and you felt your heart skip a few beats as it fully registered in your mind.

 _Titan_.

You shoved Erin off the branch, screaming the creatures name, and he yelped, recovering in time to latch onto the next tree and pull himself to safety.

A hand the size of a house, shot from the trees, and time seemed to slow.

You heard Erin scream your name, heard another voice that sounded like the Captain, saw a blur of green speed towards the monster, but it was too late.

The hand slapped you from the branch and you went spinning off into the air, your heart faltering and finally giving out. You saw Erin, tears in his eyes, rushing towards you before something green and white caught you and dragged you back to another tree.

"Stay with me." It was a command, nothing else, and steel eyes stared into yours as blood-stained hand felt for a pulse.

You could feel something slide from the corner of your mouth, and belatedly you realized it must be blood. Your heart was fluttering, weakly, like a butterfly that had been smacked to the ground; struggling to flap its wings again.

" _No._ " Levi hissed, and you felt him gather you up into his arms. " _Not like this._ "

"Titans incoming!" Another team member cried. "Levi, we need you!"

His hands clutched to you tighter. "Erin, take care of them."

"But-"

"Do it!" Levi snapped. "I can't leave her- I need you to do this."

You heard a roar, and then a soft whimper.

" _Stay with me_."

_I felt a panic but it happened so fast_   
_Was like noon to dusk but only seconds had passed_   
_We're here between seen, unseen._   
_I know you're crying at the hospital bed_   
_I felt you pleading when I hoped to hear a smile instead_   
_You can listen to the people and the things they will say_   
_Or you can listen to your spirit saying send me on my way..._

"She's alive." Zoey was talking, but you couldn't see her. "Barely. There's not much chance, though… Thought you should know that."

Someone was crying, you could hear the soft, uneven breaths of someone trying to contain their tears.

_Erin…?_

"Jaeger tells me she has a heart condition… It's a miracle she lasted this long, to be honest." Zoey continued. "If she doesn't start to recover soon, well… She might not have long."

There was a pause, and someone took your hand in both of theirs. You could feel calluses, from years of using blades and hard work, the fingers curling tightly around yours.

"You should tell her how you feel. Before it's too late."

It felt like a second, but suddenly the hands on yours were gone, and you heard Erwin's voice begin, part-way into a sentence.

"You've been here a week, you have to get back out there. Our men need you!"

"She needs me more."

_Levi?_

"…She can't come back from this."

"You don't know that!"

"I do! Do you know how lucky she's been up till now! She shouldn't even have made it through basic training, but she did! She made it into the top ten, even! She should have died already, Levi, the fact that she hasn't is a miracle!"

"Maybe she has one more in her, then."

Erwin sighed, and you felt tears start to roll down your cheeks involuntarily.

"You have to learn how to say goodbye, Levi. I understand, with Petra and the others, but…"

"You don't understand anything." He snapped. "I can't lose her too."

"Perhaps it's her time."

 _Time_. You felt it shift again, so silently it was unnerving, and you heard someone sobbing, a weight across your chest almost too heavy to bear.

"You _can't_." Levi begged softly. "Not like this."

You wanted to call out, to tell him it was alright, to tell him you were going to be fine… But you couldn't. You felt tears soak into your shirt from where he cried, and you wanted to cry yourself.

" _Stay with me_." He whispered. " _Please_."

_The sun is down, it's at its end_   
_I'll follow you as far as I can_   
_The sun is down but the day won't end_   
_I'll follow you as far as I can._   
_The sun is down, she won't mend_   
_I'll follow you as far as I can_   
_The sun is down, they say that she won't mend_   
_And I can't find you, I can't find you..._

The field was covered in flowers, and breezes stirred the tall grass as you sat under the tree and watched the clouds drift by, shadows dancing over the field.

"Levi; what are you doing here?" He had appeared out of nowhere, relaxing beside you.

His cravat was missing, the first few buttons of his shirt undone as he sat with his eyes closed.

"Can't a Captain take some time off now and then?" He asked, cracking an eye open to look at you.

"Well, I suppose…" You trailed off when you saw the sun dip down below the tree line, the sky suddenly painted in gold and orange. "When did it get so late?"

"It's been night for a while." Levi chuckled, now on your other side. "The day's almost over."

You looked up into a midnight sky full of stars, wondering how you had missed the sunset. "Why won't the day just end already, then?"

"It can't." Levi has his head in your lap, looking up at you with sad eyes. "It doesn't want to leave you behind."

"But what if I want to go to sleep?" You asked, now looking up at him. "What if I want to leave it behind?"

"Then I guess you'll just have to let go." He replied in a whisper, the grip on your hand suddenly strong and warm. "But I'll follow you to the end… As far as I can. I won't let you just fade away."

"Levi…"

The field vanished, darkness swallowing it up. The stars blotted out one by one, devoured by the growing shadows that swept over your world.

"Levi!" You screamed, clutching his hand. "Don't let go!"

He smiled; a tiny twitch of his lips, and enveloped you in his arms. "I won't."

_Oh, what would it take_   
_To keep you here in my arms bleeding?_   
_Oh, what would it take_   
_Is it so much to just start breathing...?_

_"Even Sleeping" by Chuldren 18:3_


	5. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you tripped, when you slipped, when you weren’t strong enough to keep your legs up under you anymore, Eren was always there to catch you. And somewhere between falling out of a tree onto him and falling into his arms one night when you slipped on the mess hall’s steps, you realized you’d fallen in love with him, too.
> 
> Eren Jaeger/Reader

_I've fallen out of favor_  
_And I've fallen from grace_  
 _Fallen out of trees_  
 _And I've fallen on my face_  
 _Fallen out of taxis_  
 _Out of windows too_  
 _Fell in your opinion_  
 _When I fell in love with you…_

The first time you met him; you fell out of a tree onto him, and nearly squished him flat.

It hadn’t been your proudest moment, not by a long shot, but in your defense the branch you’d been balancing on had snapped and you’d lost your balance. Anyone would have fallen out of the tree, given the circumstances.

But Eren didn’t see it that way.

He chased you around town for a good hour, you always managing to stay _just_ ahead of him, before he finally collapsed back under the said same tree you’d collapsed out of earlier, and called a truce.

You accepted, on the understanding that you would be friends from now on, and he was nice enough (and exhausted enough) to agree.

From then on, every time you fell, he’d be there to catch you.

When you tripped, when you slipped, when you weren’t strong enough to keep your legs up under you anymore, Eren was always there to catch you.

By the time the two of you had witnessed the Colossal Titan staring over the wall at you, he’d caught you more times than you could count, and then you saw that _thing_ leering down at you, he caught you again, because your knees gave out at the realization that your home was about to become a warzone.

He caught you every time you fell in training; too, each time you missed a step going into the barracks, of lost your balance in the gear, or collapsed on the training grounds, he was right there to catch you.

And somewhere between falling out of a tree onto him and falling into his arms one night when you slipped on the mess hall’s steps, you realized you’d fallen in love with him, too.

But as soon as you were set on your feet, and he gave you a smile and ruffled your hair, he walked away.

And just like that, you realized you were falling in a way he would never be able to catch.

 _Sometimes I wish for falling_  
_Wish for the release_  
 _Wish for falling through the air_  
 _To give me some relief_  
 _Because falling's not the problem_  
 _When I'm falling I'm at peace_  
 _It's only when I hit the ground_  
 _It causes all the grief..._

Your first Scouting mission, you were sure you’d never make it home.

Most of your company didn’t.

But Eren caught you, _again_ , and saved you from slamming into the ground hard enough to shatter bones. Your gear had been damaged, and when you’d tried to move through the trees, your 3D gear hadn’t deployed.

You’d felt your stomach drop the moment you began plummeting toward the ground, but Eren had caught you, screaming your name as he disobeyed orders and went back to get you.

Now he was facing the wrath of Levi and Erwin while you hid in the armory and tried to remember how to breathe.

You’d been sent to turn in your gear for repairs, and get a new set, but when you had found the armory empty, you’d tucked yourself into a corner and sobbed silently into your jacket.

Eren found you like that, shaking with silent tears, trying to make yourself as small as possible.

“Hey…” He crouched next to you, a hand on yours, slowly invading your space as he tried to pull you out of the corner and into his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” It was all you could manage to say, worrying he’d been kicked out of the Corp because of you and your faulty equipment.

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong!” Eren tried to laugh it off, but it came out more of a watery chuckle. “Really, it’s okay. I got a slap on the wrist, that’s all. I think but Levi and Commander Erwin are glad you’re okay. I don’t think they’d ever say that out loud, though.”

You clung to him before you could think better of it, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding onto him for dear life.

He made soft shushing noises and stroked your head and back, holding you close. You stayed like that, half in his lap and pressed close enough to hear his heartbeat, as the sun dipped lower in the sky, golden light flooding the armory.

Somewhere between whispering how sorry you were and him telling you to drop it, you’d fallen asleep, exhausted from your crying and near-death experience.

When you woke, you were in the infirmary, and Eren was still curled around you, holding you, refusing to let go even as Zoe chided him for taking advantage of your exhaustion to cop the proverbial feel.

Something in you was thrilled to see how his cheeks colored at the idea, and you wondered if maybe he’d done some falling of his own without you knowing it.

 _I'll dance myself up_  
_Drunk myself down_  
 _Found people to love_  
 _Left people to drown_  
 _I'm not scared to jump_  
 _I'm not scared to fall_  
 _If there was nowhere to land_  
 _I wouldn't be scared_  
 _At all, at all..._

After that, you were more careful.

You performed maintenance on your gear religiously, and you kept close to Eren.

Any time you felt shaky, like you might not make it through another line in the mess hall, or up the stairs to your room, you’d find him. And no matter what he was doing, he’d stop in order to help you.

You would have felt guilty, in fact you did to a certain extent, but he always shrugged it off and told you not to worry about it, because he enjoyed helping you out.

“But Eren…” You grumbled, taking the plate of food he pushed toward you. “I feel like… Like I’m taking advantage.”

“You’re not.”

He sat next to you on the stairs, the sun already beyond the horizon, the cool twilight hiding your blush as you tucked into the food, determined to give your mouth something to do besides ramble.

He wasn’t looking at you, at least not directly, but every now and then you’d catch the way he’d glance at you, and you wondered if he was making sure you were eating enough.

“I… I like taking care of you.” He admitted after another long pause, shrugging. “I like catching you when you fall.”

“I’ll remember to trip more often.” You muttered, throwing him a smirk as his cheeks flushed.

“I don’t mean just like that.” He folded his arms, pointedly not looking at you. “When your mood falls, or when your smile falls, I want to be the one to help you back up, help you feel safe and happy again… I want…”

He looked at you, then, and everything you’d ever felt, from the time he’d caught you on the steps of the mess hall and you knew you were done for, was written across his face.

He’d fallen too.

“We’re idiots.” You stated, matter-of-factly.

He laughed, taking your empty plate away so he could take your hand in his, lacing your fingers together as he shifted closer, shoulder brushing yours.

“Yeah… I guess we kinda are.”

“If you’re planning to kiss, you’d better take this elsewhere.” Zoe’s voice interrupted the moment, making you both jump. “You’re blocking the mess hall steps, and I for one will not stand for it.”

You leapt to your feet, face burning, only to hear Eren laugh.

“Well I _was_ going to, but _someone_ wrecked the mood.” He teased the scientist.

You spun to look at him, only to lose your footing, yelping as you started to fall.

“Caught you.” Eren chuckled, managing to catch you before you could make an even bigger fool of yourself. “And this time I plan to keep you.”

 _This is a song for a scribbled out name_  
_And my love keeps writing again and again_  
 _This is a song for a scribbled out name_  
 _And my love keeps writing again and again_  
 _And again..._

_"Falling" by Florence + The Machine_

**Author's Note:**

> Attack on Titan and All Related Characters belong to: Hajime Isayama


End file.
